Two years ago, the weather was beautiful; it was everything I had hoped for– a sunny morning on the verge of spring and water dripping from the roof. It’s hard to believe that two years have gone by since Lil Eagle first swooped into our lives at close to ten pounds, slow to pink up with his resistance to loud noises, which included that first cry. Today, he’s carrying forward that similar outlook with his decision to be very quiet until the moment he chooses not to be.
A timid, inquisitive young man, he has added something fresh to our family. He’s brought out something kind and gentle in his big brother; he’s reminded his papa of the kind of magic that little boys diffuse. He gave his sister a life-long companion. What did he give me? Well the list of lessons is endless, but for the sake of not boring you, dear reader, I’ll keep it short…ish.
He has taught me that shyness is not a burden, but a skill that allows us to be more selective with whom we bare our souls. The way he snuggles in my lap while visiting our friends reinforces this notion. When he chooses to uncurl himself from my embrace and sneak away to have a few minutes of play, I can see that he’s really dissected what’s going on, enough to be able to spend some time getting to know someone, which in two-year-old terms means, “I like you,or your toys, so let me play with them”.
He has taught me that raising a baby, requires nothing more than love, milk, and a warm place to sleep. He is our child with the least amount of ‘stuff’, yet he is the calmest little sprout of them all. His ability to amuse himself with a bowl of water and a cup is refreshing. Raised without a crib or stroller, he’s comfortable being carried or walking alongside us, and lucky for me, his wardrobe is much smaller than Wildflower’s babyhood wear, since one mama can only handle so much laundry. Less laundry= more time to play.
He’s taught me that little boys are different from little girls….
There is one other gift he has given me. It doesn’t belong on the usual list of unconditional-love type topics. His birth allowed me to feel proud of my body. The way he was brought into this world says a lot about who he is becoming, and it has helped me to become this kind of mama and woman, the kind that hopefully teaches him to see all shapes and sizes as beautiful. My first birth left me feeling disappointed in my body, since after twenty-seven hours of labour, I finally gave in and went to the hospital. Now, it wasn’t a horror story. I’ve heard many of those, and ours was nothing like it, but there was something that I didn’t get on an emotional level from that experience. It was beautiful. It was awesome, but I felt letdown. Lil Eagle changed that for me. His birth was calm and gentle… until it wasn’t, just like him. He was born here, in the same house where my grandfather was born, and that alone warms my heart and ignites my spiritual connection to our home. But the core of it is this: I did it. My body. It may not be slim. It may not be shaped with curves in all the right places. It may not be sleek and sexy, but it’s mine, and it brought two incredible, creative, and complex children into this world. When I’m feeling down on myself, I try to remember that amazing morning two years ago.
To our friends and family who came to celebrate his second year around the sun, we are so grateful for your presence in our lives. To our son, who has makes us laugh at his silly tricks and weep with exhaustion, we love watching your adventures unfold. Thank you for all that you’ve taught us.
Now please, oh please, stop peeing on the floor.