Nothing compares to the peace and serenity that comes from being at home. It seems I’m reminded of this simple joy with every passing December. I’m always the eager beaver, filling up our plates with Yuletide cheer, although I had promised myself that I wouldn’t overload, like last year. But with our hearts so concentrated on our home, leaving it several times in a week makes for hurried kiddos and a grumpy mummy. I’m not saying we should never leave, I’m just saying, I’m working towards spacing it out a little, and spending the coldest months here, mostly, by the warmth of the fire, in our slippers, or perhaps here, in our homeschool room, catching the afternoon sun.
I feel like we’re kicking off the new calendar on the left foot, which is the right one, in my opinion, since I hate cliches. We’ve plotted and planned ‘all the right things’, new goals for being more active, being kinder to one and other, organizing ourselves just a little bit more, finally organizing some of those ducks that have been out of line for far too long. This past year was really the year that got the ball rolling for us, and Papa Bear and I can’t fight the feeling that we’ve got to absorb as much of the downhill energy as we can in order to get where we’re going.
But more importantly, we’re looking under the surface of all those ‘right things’, and we’re asking ourselves the most important questions…How can we do it all without forgetting about each other? Without investing enough of our energy into our Magnum Opus, or the three of them that is, since, the plural form of Magnum Opus, is not something I whip out on a regular basis. How do we not forget about ourselves, whose needs are so important, but so easily set aside as too selfish, or not as important as_________?
Papa Bear and I spent a lot of time these past few weeks, talking about taking care of each other, and how it’s a difficult thing to balance with taking care of everything else. I love to be in love, and I love to be loved and to give love in return, and I know he does too. Often, when we are ‘busy’, we drop the things that we love the most, in order to avoid being selfish. So sure we’ll pay that bill, we’ll return those emails, mop the floors, and fold the laundry, since we can equate these things as being for other people, but we don’t put on our lipstick or kiss our partner hello. These things that take only seconds, these things that are so important in our lives, to give us support, to pat ourselves on the back, to give us an energy connection that will fuel us until the tipping point of bedtime, they get lost in the endless stream of things that are more important. It’s only after having this kind of hiatus from the outer world, this time to talk and hear what is on each other’s hearts, that I realize, I have been neglectful, not just to my partner, but to myself.
If you place your hands together, palm to palm and fold your middle fingers down, you’ll notice how easy it is to separate your thumbs. Those represent your friends, the people who have supported you in your time of need, but who come and go as you grow and change. Your index fingers move apart from each other quite simply as well. These represent your parents, who raise you up and send you into the world. If you are lucky, they will be there for you until the end of their days, but ultimately, they will, eventually leave you as well. Try to separate your baby fingers, the ones that represent your children. You will give them everything that you are able. They’ll leave you wiser, and warmer, and greyer than before, but they too, will leave. Now take a look at your ring fingers, the finger that may or may not be embellished with a strong round ring, symbolizing a promise of everlasting love and commitment. Try to move these two fingers apart….it’s not so easy is it? These fingers are not meant to separate, since they represent your other half…
This person deserves the most of us. We only get what we give, and sometimes, we both just …forget. Life is meant to be lived with someone to hold our hand, and it can be so easy to lose sight of this, as we look forward rather than beside ourselves.
Speaking of companions….meet Kamo!
Life has been slowly rolling back to normal, these past two weeks. The tree has lived out its needly life and has just been packed away; we were bold enough to leave out the twinkly lights and grapevine arches around the doors, and we’ve been packin’ it in early each night after a warm dinner that we’ve shared around our family table. We’ve tried to start the year off right, giving us lots of room to slack off as the year progresses. There have been new additions to our family, new toys, clothes, and of course, Big Brother’s dog Kamo, but as the universe would have it, where newness comes in, we make room by sending old energy out. This year, pardon my melodrama, but my macbook has seen better days, and she, as I’ve decided she’s female, is headed into the shop to hopefully be saved, and so here is my little post, written on this foreign device, to tell the world, whomever is listening, that I’ve been gone, and I’ll be back. Hopefully, I’ll be back in less than a moon’s time.