There was a time when I believed it was my job to do everything, and I probably don’t need to tell you that I failed miserably at it.
Most mornings I awoke with a fresh attitude, ready to slay the day’s to-do list. By night fall, I’d likely have accomplished a couple of things on the list, not including the day’s work, meals from scratch, caring for myself, and providing connected learning time with the kids, and as ridiculous as it sounds to me now, I’d feel like a failure.
I failed again…I’d tell my masochistic self…. and then I’d write an impossible list for tomorrow, hop into bed way too late, and do it all again the next day.
Obviously, I wouldn’t be writing this piece, in this tone, if I were still spending the majority of my time stuck in the same trap. So what have I done to accomplish more and feel more …peace-full?
I gave up the unreasonable goal. Yep. That’s it. I let my ego take a hike, and I asked for (explained why) and accepted help, and I let things go.
I love to nurture and care for my family, which somewhere, got lost in translation and turned into, let me pick up your smelly socks everyday, and sure I’ll scrub the toilet. But also, my partner goes to work and then works when he comes home on a growing list of to-dos and our kids are kids, so shouldn’t this be my job? To some degree, yes, I believe this is true, but somewhere around the decision to take this homeschool thing seriously, and when the third kid was born, I began to think maybe I was ripping myself off.
It wasn’t until I believed that making time for meaningful connection / learning with our children was the single most important part of our day, that I could close the door on the rest of the to-do list and simply let it be.
This is my work.
It wasn’t until I believed that this is meaningful-enough work for a woman in today’s world, that I could stop trying to rock at everything else. And then I asked for help with the other things. Now don’t get me wrong, I still prepare healthy meals and fold laundry and wash dishes, but on Sunday nights, we clean the house together, as a family….toilets, floors, kitchen, everything. It’s so much easier to care for during the week, and everyone feels a sense of responsibility because they know that sock won’t be just cleaned up by someone else.
… and then, we eat a yummy, comfort-food supper while watching a movie. It’s about balance, right?
xo Hay Mama